Cheryl Donegan b. 1962
I Still Want to Drown (2010)
"I Still Want to Drown" does not have a monologue as such, but a song sung by Dionne Warick, a soaring ballad in the "wall of sound" style, in which the singer speaks to herself, lamenting a faithless lover. A neurotic description of stalking, victimhood and the power of co-dependant obsession, the song is a tour de force of angst-ridden pop.
The new video is in the music video style, rather than other styles I have used in the past, performance video, video essay, camera-less video, abstract video, but it does combine elements of these other modes. Some of the footage was shot in locations ranging from my bathroom ( where a sequence to match the opening image of Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut" was staged) to the basement of my parents' home. There is appropriated footage from the film "Jeanne Dielman" and "fly-through" animation culled from the internet. The closing scenes were shot off live television, of a show that I happened to be on, my first TV appearance, not as an artist, but as a model on the “Today” Show, in a segment “ How to Shop Outlet Malls”. The piece is a short lament and meditation on housework, heartbreak and posing...keeping up appearances and appearing to keep up...I thought about Douglas Sirk and "Imitation of Life", and decorating.